On the 18th of March 2008, nearly 39 years since entering service, the QE2 achieved a maximum speed of 32.8 knots and over a period of 24 hours averaged 30 knots.

 

 

 

This is quite amazing stuff - NO Other cruise ship can do anything like this.  NO other 2-propellor ship.  Let alone one that is nearly 1,000 feet long and in her final 7 months of life and which has travelled an astounding six MILLION miles - further than any other ship, ever.  Her brand new ugly sister ship, the Queen Victoria, is a full TEN knots slower.

 

My opinion?  The chief engineer and his staff are wanting to make a very loud and clear point - that there was lots of life left in the old girl and that she is STILL the fastest in the world.

 

All good things come to an end, and this year one of the best things in the world of cruising reaches hers. The Queen Elizabeth 2 - the most famous, most prestigious and best-loved of all liners - will sail away gracefully to a happy retirement in Dubai.

Conceived in the late Fifties and in service by the end of the Sixties, the QE2 was the first liner designed not to compete with the ascendant airlines, but to complement them, offering a civilised alternative way to cross the Atlantic; indeed, for many years its symbiotic relationship with Concorde offered travellers the best of both worlds.

Its debut provoked controversy. On the day that the Queen launched it on Clydebank, she herself added the "2" to the ship's name. Cunard had intended it to be plain Queen Elizabeth. And the reason that the name has an Arabic "2" rather than a Roman "II" is to reassure the Scots - the monarch is their first Queen Elizabeth - that the ship was named as the successor to the previous liner Queen Elizabeth and not after the Queen herself.

The launch ads said "Ships have been boring long enough!" and it broke with tradition in many ways. It was the first British liner to offer en suite facilities in every cabin; the first to site the restaurants high in the superstructure, guaranteeing panoramic ocean views; the first to boast an on-board computer system to monitor stock-control and fuel consumption; the first major liner designed to be equally suitable for crossings and cruising; and the largest, most powerful and fastest twin-screw ship ever built.

Its career turned out to be every bit as colourful as its design. Since 1969, it has been subject to bomb-threats and war service, sailing with the Expeditionary Force to the Falklands. It carried out the last-ever Cunard steam-powered crossing on October 26, 1986, ending a Cunard tradition dating back to 1840. It has steamed farther and carried more passengers than any other liner. It recently became the longest-serving Cunarder, eclipsing the record of its forebear, the stately four-funnelled Aquitania.

The first time I sailed on it, I was 16 years old and had never been on a liner before. Back in 1972, QE2 was still the epitome of swinging Britain. Its interiors were dazzling 1 the patriotically red, white and blue Britannia Restaurant, the chic, David Hicks-designed Q4 Nightclub and the mutedly murky Midships Bar. Over the years, all these rooms (and many more) have been swept away in the course of numerous refits. In fact, Cunard has spent more than 10 times the ship's original cost on keeping it contemporary.

Initially, the ship's crew was entirely British, which proved problematic. On one of my earliest cruises aboard it, two barmen stood behind their bar, loudly debating the next round of fruitless industrial action against Cunard while a horde of parched passengers stood gasping for a drink.

Eventually, one of the stewards turned grumpily to the first guest in line. "I suppose you want serving?" he asked. "Oh, no," said the passenger. "I want a piece of cardboard and a marker pen." "Why's that then?" asked the confounded steward. "Why, so that I can make you a placard that reads 'I am an ignorant pig and I hate my job.' You can wear it round your neck!" said the passenger, to a riotous round of applause from his fellow guests. Later, the QE2 gained a non-unionised and multi‑national crew and service was transformed.

The biggest investment came in 1986 when, in the nautical equivalent of a heart transplant, the QE2's increasingly unreliable and budget-bustingly thirsty steam turbines were replaced by nine diesel engines to maintain its speed and slash its voracious fuel consumption. A fortunate side-effect of the change was to give it a stockier and altogether more majestic funnel in place of the pencil‑thin structure it was built with.

Cruising on the ship today is a marvellous throwback to a more stately era. No matter that it's a bit frayed around the edges – leaky windows and downpours from ceilings both feature – it remains unique. And who cares that the original two-class design means that the cabin decks are labyrinthine, or that certain lifts, once designed to segregate the elite from the rest, mystifyingly refuse to stop at certain decks?

The cheapest cabins - formerly tourist-class rooms - are diminutive: my mother once occupied a minimum-grade outside room and told me it was the most convenient cabin she'd ever had. "Darling," she told me, "I can switch the TV on, start a shower, go through my clothes in the wardrobe and answer the door – all without getting out of bed."

The vestigial class system - your restaurant is allocated based upon the amount you pay for your cruise - does not mean that the ship is restrictive. The only public room denied to all but the elite is the Queen's Grill, a long and narrow space that has always reminded me of a railway carriage. But when someone asks which restaurant you're dining in, it actually means "How much did you pay for your holiday?"

In fact, even the Mauretania Restaurant, the least expensive on board, offers perfectly fine food and service. Niceties like groaning trays of petits fours prevail even here. From this base, things culminate in the Queen's Grill, with its off‑menu ordering, lavish à la carte menu and superb sommeliers.

Elsewhere, the informal Lido offers a huge breakfast buffet, casual lunches, afternoon tea, candlelit dinners and some of the last surviving nightly midnight buffets. And prompt and complimentary room service is always a telephone call away.

The ship is still the fastest passenger liner afloat. It remains the longest-serving Cunarder and continues to dismiss unfriendly weather with greater élan than almost any other ship. It boasts one of the most extensive and best-run libraries afloat. It is still loved by passengers and crew alike. Every arrival and departure still draws a crowd. And - as the phalanx of white-gloved stewards who appear at precisely 4pm to serve afternoon tea testifies - it is still run with metronomic precision.

To step ashore from one of its immaculate tenders, to watch the long cabin corridors flex in a transatlantic storm, to sip Champagne in evening dress, to pause near the Chart Room and try to fit a piece into the vast jigsaw that is set out there on every trip: this is the essence of the cruise experience.

Like a fine wine, the QE2 improves with age. It has outlived the miniskirt, several prime ministers and even its one-time consort Concorde. But sadly, its elegant lines and lack of balcony cabins immediately define it as a ship of yesteryear. The period when it was the world's largest liner is long gone - in today's cruise industry it doesn't even make it into the ocean-going Top 50.

Yet its designers, charged with creating a ship that could successfully anticipate the needs of a yet-unborn generation of passengers, have succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. It is a great machine, but a machine with a soul.

The QE2's last season in active service concludes this October with a pair of transatlantic crossings in tandem with its younger sister, Queen Mary 2. Then it sails off into the sunset for the last time on a cruise to Dubai (demand for this trip was so enormous, every cabin was sold within 36 minutes of the reservation lines opening). But in the intervening period, you still have a chance to sample the delights of this most classic of ships, with a full programme of cruises operating out of Southampton. However space is already limited.

So the simple advice is to hurry if you want to sample the unique ambience of a ship that represents the culmination of the transatlantic liner.

And if you do sail aboard it, look out for the hideous spelling mistake incorporated into the Art-Deco map of the Atlantic behind the bar in the intimate Chart Room.

Essentials

GETTING ABOARD

The QE2’s final sailings in September and October are sold out, having been snapped up by devotees of the ship almost as soon as they went on sale. However, there’s still limited availability on earlier cruises, including a classic transatlantic crossing from New York to Southampton on April 12 for six nights: fly-cruise fares start from £799.

A three-night sampler sailing from Southampton on July 17 to Amsterdam (from Rotterdam) and Bruges (from Zeebrugge) starts at £689. The 20-night Autumn Colours cruise to New England and Canada sails round-trip from Southampton on September 10 with ports including New York, Newport, Boston and Québec City. Fares begin at £3,569.

These are the official fares but many agents are offering significant reductions. All fares include all meals, accommodation, a full programme of entertainment and flights where applicable.

Brilliant article in today's Observer by renowned climate scientist James Loveloc.

 

 

The last time my anti-virus software detected a virus, was about 8 years ago. 

 

For this reason, I've decided to stop using one and see how I get on.

I've spent quite a few hours putting this new page together on my website.

The American media think that mobile internet/software is the future.  America has only recently caught up with the rest of the world in terms of handset technology, texting, picture messaging etc, and in many ways is still behind.  They've seen huge growth recently, and they think it will continue at that pace - so do Google.

 

But I'm not so sure.  I have a fabby phone, with a full internet browser and all sorts of stuff built in, but there's only so much time that i want to spend clutching my tiny screen - basically, i only use it for internet or applications when i'm desperate.  A proper computer is usually close at hand and much more pleasant to use.  An iPhone, for me, is too restricted, and too big.  A phone for me needs to be invisible when stuffed in a front trouser pocket.  I just don't see how much further it can go.

ARGH.

 

I want to listen to Radio Scotland in the morning, but I CANT STAND the newsreader!  She has a bizarre fake newsreader intonation that is stupendously annoying after a while.  She makes every single sentence sound exactly the same whether its something joyously happy, or a massacre somewhere.  Its hard to explain unless you hear her, but it causes me to change channel every time, and not go back.  You shouldn't really be aware of a newsreader, just of what they're telling you.  A commercial station wouldn't have her, because they'd lose their audiences.

One of my biggest grips on my daily commute - vehicles with flashing amber yellow lights for no obvious reason. There are so many of them, that you end up ignoring them, so you don't notice them when they ARE important.

 

Typical examples are

Oh My GOD.  Make the rain stop PLEASE!  Its non-stop.  For weeks, and months.  Driving through floods, torrential rain, storms, howling winds and always, always RAIN.

 

Every night I hear the cars outside my flat going past with a long slooooshing noise, then in the morning i have to go out in it and make my own slooshing noise all the way to work.  No crispy frosty mornings.  No clear blue skies.  No snow.  No fog.  Just mild and wet the entire time.

Bought a new Vista PC for my Mum - £400 for a dual-core Compaq with 2 gigs of Ram and a 19" widescreen, pretty good, or so I thought.

 

Unpacked it, turned it on,plugged in the new router.  All was hunkey-dorey and the screen looked fab.

 

 

And the network card stopped working.  No error or anything, it just couldn't see the router any more.  Tried everything I could think of to no success.

 

So I gave up and plugged in a wireless dongle so that it could connect that way.  It worked perfectly.  And installed another 4 updates.  Guess what.  Yeah thats right, the updates stuffed the wireless dongle too.

 

I blame Compaq, then Realtek (The network card) and then Microsoft.

 

I'll probably manage to get it working tomorrow, but I spent 3 hours on it tonight and I'm still hugely frustrated.

 

Stark contrast to my own £400 HP PC which I bought last Christmas and then put Vista on it - I've never had any problems with it at all.

 

 

 

Despite me being ill with a chest infection and temperature, I still had a truly wonderful time on board QE2 this past weekend.  It exceeded all my very high expectations!

 

I'm putting together a full write up of it here - http://www.roblightbody.com/liners/qe-2/full_review.htm

 

QE2 is a wonderful old ship - its like stepping back in time, and in my case like stepping back 21 years into a memory.  Its a shame they're getting rid of her - they should just market her as a classy old liner and keep her going, with cabins and portholes instead of staterooms and balconies - some people actually want that... and she has such class, there will never be another like her.

 

I've been looking forward to this for 6 months (or 20 years...) and then I go and get sick less than a week before!  I've been struggling since last week with a horrible cold/flu-like thing.  I've ended up taking 3.5 extra days off work (which costs me...) on top of the days off for my trip and my Christmas Hols - I'm gonna be broke for a while!  On top of that BOTH my cars broke in the past week and need fixed.

 

 

Anyway, the bags are getting packed, the new Tuxedo seems to fit and I've got most of the rest of the stuff i need.  Its just been a bit more chaotic than it was meant to be due to me being sick.

 

I'm going to be photo blogging my trip - watch my flickr page for details - http://www.flickr.com/photos/lightbody 

 

and

 

 

And boy oh boy did it leave an impression. My memories are of a truly immense ship.  Fantasic luxury in the restaurants.  Amazing shows that I'd never seen the like of.  And terrific excitement as they put the newly rebuilt ship through her paces.  Cheering crowds and fireworks thronging the banks of the German rivers for miles that we made our ways along.  A wonderful midnight buffet with ham that I could see through.  Shops selling things we couldn't hope to afford - and my first visit to Harrods!!  Important people on board knew my Dad well, and we got welcomed all around the ship.

 

Well, 20.5 years later, I'm returning to my beloved QE2, sadly without my Dad this time, but I'll certainly be thinking of him.  I cannot believe I actually made it happen and its getting closer and closer.  My best friend Rob and I will be onboard in just over 2 weeks for a short trip to Belgium and back.  I hope he enjoys it as much as I did at 14, hopefully some of my enthusiasm will rub off on him.  We should have luxury food and drink, entertainment, night clubs, the casino, the spa all at our disposal and I intend to make full use!

 

 

 

OK read this story :-

 

 

How stupid do they all think we are?  These companies are managing to drum up huge publicity for themselves for free via 'viral' email marketing.  Very very clever.